Thesis self-encouragement and self-diagnosis
Most people I know have knowledge of the fact that I am for some reason seeming more eager to work on other assorted projects than on completing my thesis project which is a requirement for my graduating from college with both the degrees I've completed classes for. This, however is something somewhat illogical to me- while I certainly am involved in more things than I should be, and often don't know exactly where time goes, I've become over time, more interested in the subject matter for this project. Sure I'd prefer to work on something new, fancy, revolutionary, and world/game/life/industry-changing or something more on the lab side, and this project is very much neither of these. Perhaps I don't think it's going to be a tool that I will feel quite satisfied with, as it is going to seem to like an unfinished project- perhaps by design, or perhaps to get me to actually graduate eventually, I've been informed that it really has to just work and does not have to be totally polished or what I would otherwise think of something that could be considered to be production-ready. It doesn't seem like something like that would cause me to be this far behind. I like getting things done, and don't consider myself to be particularly lazy.
I've also come to be moderately interested in the subject matter, since while at the moment it's kind of a pipe dream, and many people seem to guffaw at the thought of the 'Semantic Web' as originally envisioned, I think it'll happen sooner or later. It may end up happening only after we get significant improvements in AI, but it'll probably happen. Just like I can't imagine that 15 years ago anyone thought they'd be able to do something even remotely close to Google Maps in a web browser. Some people take that entirely for granted already and hardly remember how limited web browsers used to actually be.
I haven't actually gotten to the tough part of the project though, which is going to require some planning and critical thinking. This realization lead me to realize that as much as I value critical thinking, it's not really been something I've had to do really almost ever, and especially not while at school very often. Classes are not usually structured in ways that require it- 'educated guesses' have been adequate for mostly everything. Considering that I'd like to be able to be considered a scientist, this is somewhat disappointing. I suppose I really haven't been cutting edge enough, such that mostly everything I need to do already has answers out there somewhere, and it's easier to look for the work that has been done by others than to go through and figure it out ourselves. There's of course a good argument for this approach- why redo work that has been done when you could then take that time saved and put it toward something new? I haven't done much of anything new, haven't initiated any of my own projects that could end up contributing to outside a small group of people. So there is quite a need to get the gumption to tackle this problem of lighting some sort of non-literal fire under my ass to restart the furnace of critical thinking ability. To drop the jaded feeling of getting nowhere and being perfectly okay with it. I would never, under any circumstance, be satisfied with such low expectations of myself. I've always had grand goals, and I refuse to let go of them. I feel that losing those desires, that dream, is the most dangerous thing that anyone could do. It might be necessary to revise a few details, but the essence of it must be retained. We have such faculties to seemingly do near anything, it seems a waste to not make use of it.
Hence a shift back to creating more than consuming for me, a logical move.
I may also attempt to document in some place publicly a small daily summary of progress on the project, so then when I waste time (which will not occur any longer, of course) I also have to face the shame of mentioning that as well. That might serve as some sort of encouragement, in addition to my mother's very skillful guilt trip. If you have never had the experience of a guilt trip from a true Jewish Mother, I'll tell you, it's quite an experience. It appears that if I do not finish this project, my life as I had ever desired it, is finished; everyone will hate me, and I'll never again be able to obtain success in any walk of life. That's a lot of weight to carry, so I best do this right.
Aight, peace out.
I've also come to be moderately interested in the subject matter, since while at the moment it's kind of a pipe dream, and many people seem to guffaw at the thought of the 'Semantic Web' as originally envisioned, I think it'll happen sooner or later. It may end up happening only after we get significant improvements in AI, but it'll probably happen. Just like I can't imagine that 15 years ago anyone thought they'd be able to do something even remotely close to Google Maps in a web browser. Some people take that entirely for granted already and hardly remember how limited web browsers used to actually be.
I haven't actually gotten to the tough part of the project though, which is going to require some planning and critical thinking. This realization lead me to realize that as much as I value critical thinking, it's not really been something I've had to do really almost ever, and especially not while at school very often. Classes are not usually structured in ways that require it- 'educated guesses' have been adequate for mostly everything. Considering that I'd like to be able to be considered a scientist, this is somewhat disappointing. I suppose I really haven't been cutting edge enough, such that mostly everything I need to do already has answers out there somewhere, and it's easier to look for the work that has been done by others than to go through and figure it out ourselves. There's of course a good argument for this approach- why redo work that has been done when you could then take that time saved and put it toward something new? I haven't done much of anything new, haven't initiated any of my own projects that could end up contributing to outside a small group of people. So there is quite a need to get the gumption to tackle this problem of lighting some sort of non-literal fire under my ass to restart the furnace of critical thinking ability. To drop the jaded feeling of getting nowhere and being perfectly okay with it. I would never, under any circumstance, be satisfied with such low expectations of myself. I've always had grand goals, and I refuse to let go of them. I feel that losing those desires, that dream, is the most dangerous thing that anyone could do. It might be necessary to revise a few details, but the essence of it must be retained. We have such faculties to seemingly do near anything, it seems a waste to not make use of it.
Hence a shift back to creating more than consuming for me, a logical move.
I may also attempt to document in some place publicly a small daily summary of progress on the project, so then when I waste time (which will not occur any longer, of course) I also have to face the shame of mentioning that as well. That might serve as some sort of encouragement, in addition to my mother's very skillful guilt trip. If you have never had the experience of a guilt trip from a true Jewish Mother, I'll tell you, it's quite an experience. It appears that if I do not finish this project, my life as I had ever desired it, is finished; everyone will hate me, and I'll never again be able to obtain success in any walk of life. That's a lot of weight to carry, so I best do this right.
Aight, peace out.